Aut-R!

regret

2006-09-07T23:40:00.000+03:30

I want to talk to you, but I can’t.” Read it with Scottish accent, as if you are pronouncing a 'u' instead of 'a'."
I do not have enough confidence! And I know why!
If only this could be solved, then I could eventually start my real life! I am trying and I have only a year ahead of myself, otherwise this could result a real mess up!
I surely do not want that, because I am so proud
I regret it now and it’s awfully late. If only two years ago, I had been a little more easygoing, I know, I was right. But with my circumstance, I should not have let her go. I regret it now, and it’s two late. The tantalizing aspect is that, now I can not even act. And that’s horrible.

A new Start

2006-08-04T22:15:00.000+03:30

Let’s start again!
It’s been a really long time…
I needed time to recover! To mentally get ready to start writing just for myself! And here I am,Writing for myself again!
I am stoping! Stoping to rely! That’s because of experience! terrible experience! I wish you luck! Because You are not my friend anymore!You don’t know how much you owe and how to make it up! You don’t know who to ask help from! You don’t know how to balance your relations so that you won’t go bankrupt in all of them! Maybe That’s because you are so selfish….
It is Not about me!
I am just an observer of your relations! A little comparison between what you have gambled there on your friends and what you have gambled on me, shows me that I have been mistaking in every moment so far! You didn’t qualify for the next round! You are not the person I want to choose as a friend!
There is just one thing! Be careful! You are too weak ,and you still don’t know it!
Let’s make better friends!

2006-07-06T19:44:00.000+03:30

You are Lying to me! I don't need to ask you or give you a reason!
Your cheerful glimps are telling me!
Why are those glimps glad?
Because This time you are the one to share a secret with, You are the one to know something. And You can't hide it. It springs all the way from your heart!

But, Don't bother,I 'll be fine! As I told you, I don't need your information!

2006-06-22T22:36:00.000+03:30

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish i didnt do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that i could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

and the reason is you
and the reason is you
and the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that i do
And the reason is you

"The Reason" by "Hoobastank" lyrics!

It's fantabulous! Isnt it? I could not even get close to such form to place my sense in it! It's one of few english poems I really Love!

2006-06-21T21:21:00.000+03:30

-What is your supreme goal in life?
-I would like to present humanity the gift of electricity!
-It has been done by Edison!!!!!
-Then,My job's done.I can rest the rest of my life!

Confession

2006-06-08T22:56:00.000+03:30

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can't find no rest
Where I'm going is anybody's guess

I've tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It's written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

I've tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete

I don't mean to drag it on, but I can't seem to let you go
I don't wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)

I've tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete

Incomplete

Lyrics of "Incomplete" by "BackStreet Boys".

P.s: This post is SO purposefully published!

2006-05-19T00:54:00.000+03:30

Fuck what I said, I doesn't mean shit now!
I am taking back everything! If there happens to be a wealthy thing amongst them,Tell me what! I could immiedietly fuck it up in your oppinion! How?
Showing that the intention could vary in a vast range: from a benevolent and kind help to a mischievous desire!

2006-04-18T21:59:00.000+03:30

2006-04-07T23:18:00.000+03:30

2006-04-04T00:28:00.000+03:30

Can you guess what the biggest mental concern of astronauts that take long time space-flights, could be?!!
Imagine yourself cooped up in a single room in your own house for at least 180 days!
What problem would be of the greatest importance to you?
.
..
...

Seeking Redumption!

2006-03-29T00:22:00.000+03:30

You can easily take that course without any remorse! Yes, You CAN!
And I can't even participate in the course sessions!
Interesting, Hm?
Of course, the retribution should be mine!, Also the torture!
Hm?
Cuz I was the one who wanted to help! Hm?
It is outrageous! Isn't it?
Obviously I am not over it yet! And How Can I be?
I am happy...
Cuz, It takes time for me to find out why my behaviour is changing to sombebody!
But till then; The reason will be safe-kept in my unconscious memory!
And I am glad to have such a powerfull influence of unconsious mind on my life!
Hm...

2006-03-28T16:08:00.000+03:30

Mournful Sunset

2006-02-27T18:38:00.000+03:30

Jerks can be fun!while cant't I!

2006-02-27T18:34:00.000+03:30

I'd rather be called ignorant than bastard!

2006-02-27T18:32:00.000+03:30

It's over Azin!
Isn't it?
P.s:I even don't need your confirmation!When my answer is affirmative, So must be yours!

2006-02-15T21:26:00.000+03:30

Behind these cool and tired eyes, Fury CAN flame!
And what fury!
Believe it!
If you haven't been there....
The avalanche of anger might have buried her!

2006-02-15T21:09:00.000+03:30

It is MY interpretation of other's actions, that matters!!!
Not their Hallucinations of what the impression could be!!!

2006-02-14T22:55:00.000+03:30

Time passing has always been considered to be a good functioning, but not optimize, cure for many social/relational probs!
But...
What if...
My Capacity to forgive is not enough?
What if...
Everything is not forgivable/forgettable?
What if...
I become unwilling to forgive?
What if...
My (Bad)Memories are NOT evanescent!
What if...

2006-02-07T22:55:00.000+03:30

Someone come and sweep me under the rug!
The scene is either horrible and disgusting!

The answer to Previous Dr!

2006-02-03T22:37:00.000+03:30

Silence is the only perception transferable between the people without amount-loss or misunderstandings!
Even Love insight is through silence!
Long lasting silence with a faded smile, with two eyes staring; not into your ones!
But in to the world that your love gifts!
...
Silence is...

Painkiller

2006-02-03T22:26:00.000+03:30

Painkiller is needed immediately!
Pain: Disablity in clarifying intentions,words,thinkings,etc!
A random DR's solution:
SB mute him!
Because:
Silence does not need to be realized!
randomness is a really vital factor in some cases!

2006-01-20T21:54:00.000+03:30

There was a tendency to say:
"Because I despise you!Because Just seeing you is enough to piss me off"
But I bent my head and said....
I am such a coward!
and...you Azin!!!
Your deliberate question eventhough you knew why, was a real disaster!
I disgust such questions!
And...

Conquest of my own soul!

2005-12-30T23:16:00.001+03:30

Getting sick of seeking sth special in the outer world,I am into my own private & calm one!There is an uncertain perception persisting to start this quest!So let's close the doors!The home is getting rearranged!
Shall the Lord's grace lead me to find some hidden treasures!!!!!Sth SPECIAL

2005-12-30T20:41:00.000+03:30

I am an uncongenial patch...&
exhausted of being so!

2005-12-19T21:18:00.000+03:30

"If you have one million years of time,you wont be able to remove half of the world's "f... your mouth"s!!!!"
from :Catcher In The Rye!

Rain

2005-12-16T23:41:00.000+03:30

It's raining outside,so is inside!
An unexpected sympathy!
Does it make me feel special?
of course not!
and...
Surely yes!
...
Rain resurrects me!
There must be life 'herself' ,flowing in the rain's breath.

The Reason!

2005-12-02T22:58:00.001+03:30

And...
Suddenly There was!There was sth to shout!
But borning this one would be so much harder!:
Since I've become more introvert!
But isnt that a paradox?getting introvert and tending to write?
Shall it be one!
I dont care...
It has been a long time since I didnt care anymore!
Desire knows no care!as the wise austrian man says:"We Are our desires".
So Let me be mines!
And...
There will be no answer!To anybody!
Shall it be complains or even argues!
Tendency to say has risen up above my logic!There is no more known expedients in my criteria of good relationship!Cuz i ve been alone all along!
And...
Have you ever felt out of place?At Least It Deserves A try!